We say that we want to change.

We say that we want to grow.

We say things like “I’ve forgiven” or “it’s not really a big deal to me anymore” because we want to be over it.

We’re tired of having the same arguments. Tired of attracting the same toxic people into our lives.  Tired of reliving the experiences and emotions that make up our history.

“But, it’s fine”. 

Do you know what ‘fine’ means?  Fine means I’ve given up.  There’s too much pain.  I’m gonna keep a tight lid on those emotions and just get by, by surviving.  It’s fine because we’re afraid.
The reality is that we’re afraid to heal.  Healing is uncomfortable and requires that we must face those things that we want to keep buried.
The question is:  What’s greater?  The fear of processing those emotions or staying stuck where you are?

Afraid to heal:  “It’s going to hurt!”

You’re scared to go there.  Maybe it’s been buried for a long time.  Maybe the feelings are excruciating pain points. So, you run from the chance to heal your wounds. You push it deep down with the grand gesture of “now’s not the time.” Self-doubt overshadows everything. The mind starts rattling off emotions of fear and rejection. You think you’re not worthy. You doubt the healing process. You’re terrified to step out of a desolate place of misery. 


Afraid to heal:  “I might collapse if I allow myself to feel all this”

Maybe you think that if you open pandora’s box, that the world as you know it will end.  You might believe that you actually can’t face your emotions. Maybe you think that you will actually succumb to the pain, anger or sadness and never be whole again.

You are consumed by fear over “what if’s” and all the reasons why you can’t.

The reality is that by NOT allowing yourself to process those emotions, you’re doing more harm than if you were to allow yourself to feel.


Afraid to heal:  “I don’t know how.”

For inner healing to work, you have to give yourself permission to dig into those hidden and buried wounds. You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable for this process to succeed. 

I would say, stop hiding behind closed doors and suffering. Stop acting like you have it all together on social media.  Stop pretending to be somebody and actually take a step towards BEING authentically you.

At some point, you will have to say “enough” and want to do something different. Spinning in a hamster wheel of repeated emotions sounds something like insanity and does nothing for progression. 


Afraid to heal:  “I just need a one and done solution”

Quit being convinced that someone else knows you better than you know yourself. Quit thinking you need to rely on someone else to give you your answers.
What you actually need to do is shut the world off around you, sit in silence and listen to yourself.  Listen to what you already know.  Take a moment, create clarity and FEEL.
Yes, this can be scary especially as feelings come to the surface that you’ve never allowed yourself to deal with. But do you know what’s scarier than dealing with your emotions? Living a life that isn’t yours and telling people you’re fine when we all truly know what fine really means.

Guess what?  You will not succumb to this.  You will not be overwhelmed by your emotions.  But if you allow yourself to feel.  To process.  To reconcile.  You just might open up a door to possibilities that you never know existed.


Afraid to heal:  “But if I let go and I’m not defined by these events, then who am I?”

No one wants to face this one, but the reality is that often we’ve held on tightly to the pain and anger because it’s familiar.  It gives our lives definition and meaning to identify with the events of our past.

In other words, we’re comfortable being the victim.

It’s a story that’s familiar and feelings that we understand, so when we heal from this, then what?  What’s next?  Who am I?

Well, wouldn’t you like to find out?


There’s a multitude of reasons why we stay where we are instead of choosing change.

Can you be brave?  Do you have the courage to face all those things that you haven’t been able to in the past?

What would you like to change?


PS: You don’t have to this alone!  If you’re feeling stuck, book a free Clarity Call with me.


Katrina Murphy

Katrina Murphy

Katrina Murphy is a Professional Intuitive Mindset and Confidence Coach in Ontario, Canada, serving clients across Canada and internationally. Katrina helps professionals to change the relationship that they have with themselves so they can reconnect both in their relationships and at work. She’s been featured in various publications and is the creator of the Power-Passion-Purpose Framework.

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