People always say ‘love yourself’ more.  Self-love IS essential because every relationship we have, and our own happiness, depends on that love.

But HOW do we do it…?



How do we learn to love ourselves?






1.  Step 1 is to know yourself. SELF-AWARENESS is a life-long, never-ending discovery of who we are.  Without it, true happiness can’t really bloom.

2.  Once we start to really know ourselves (ie: the good, the bad, the ugly ….the light AND the dark…those aspects of who we are that are not easy to love) we have a choice.   We can either judge ourselves or we can choose to develop the 2nd phase of self-love which is SELF-COMPASSION.  Self-compassion is the ability to be gentle and loving with yourself.  This softens our hearts towards ourselves and also towards others.

3.  Self-compassion naturally leads to SELF-ACCEPTANCE. This is about truly seeing ourselves as we are and being OK with that. It’s not lying to yourself or overlooking things we’d like to change, but allowing ourselves to grow. Acceptance towards ourselves creates calm confidence and a feeling of happiness in our bodies.

4.  The foundation of self-acceptance, creates a solid base from which we can reach higher levels of happiness and fulfillment in life. The natural progression is that once we accept ourselves fully it unlocks something powerful… SELF-WORTH. Self-worth is the intrinsic value we place on ourselves…without possessions, status or achievement.  In this way, self-worth is our own understanding of our worthiness for love and acceptance, not to be determined by others.

5.  Self- Worth is a portal that naturally unlocks beautiful things like INTUITION, SELF-BELIEF and SELF-TRUST. Self-trust keeps us safe. Self-trust allows us to take beautiful risks. Self -trust is the natural link to our INTUITION:  Our compass or inner guidance system that when we connect with this, broadens our horizons and makes our journey in life smoother with less drama and more happiness.

6.  Self-Trust is a gateway to the most beautiful version of yourself… SELF-REALIZATION. Where we reach the full potential of our talent and abilities, combining the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual elements of who we are. This is your highest life, your pleasure and purpose combined into one essential story.  It’s living your legacy… the sweet spot of happiness.



Self-love is the real key to happiness and it is cultivated through an evolution. It doesn’t happen overnight but it is worth the journey.


PS:  If you struggle with loving yourself or would like support around any of these concepts, let’s chat about what Coaching can do for you.


Katrina Murphy

Katrina Murphy

Katrina Murphy is a Professional Intuitive Mindset and Confidence Coach in Ontario, Canada, serving clients across Canada and internationally. Katrina helps professionals to change the relationship that they have with themselves so they can reconnect both in their relationships and at work. She’s been featured in various publications and is the creator of the Power-Passion-Purpose Framework.

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