How do we process pain?

We all have those experiences in our lives that change us.  Those defining moments when we know that we’ve reached a pivot point and things will never again be as they were.

These experiences that are forever marked by pain.  

The kind of pain that you hope is a dream that you’ll wake from.  

The kind of pain that you’re not sure you can recover from.

It’s marked by some sort of loss, betrayal, grief or other circumstance that has you fully aware that your life has been changed permanently and forever.

So what do you do with all those emotions?  How do we process this pain?




  1. Recognize your need for time and space.  This process is individual and it will take as long as it takes.  Give yourself time with no expectations and no deadline.
  2. Be compassionate with yourself.  Know that the intensity and magnitude of these feelings will not last forever but for right now, they exist.  Give yourself permission to not be as productive, not be happy, not function well…just for now.  Whatever you do or don’t do is ok.
  3. Feel it.  Process your feelings, experiencing all of the emotions that exist.  Get angry scream, cry…whatever that looks like for you.  But ALLOW those feelings to surface so that you can move through this process.  Blocking these or shoving them down – repressing them – will only delay this process.  FEELING it all will be your way forward to moving through the pain and onwards.
  4. Journal it.  Write it, type it, vlog it….just get it out and off of your mind.  Journaling specifically can provide insight, clarity and is often a purge for negativity.
  5. Take care of yourself.  If you have a self-care regime, increase it.  If you don’t normally do things for yourself, START.  Make time to do those things that energize you, and make time often.

There is no easy way to move past emotional pain.  The only way is to move THROUGH it…and through it means processing all those ever-changing emotions.

I recognize that it can be difficult to allow yourself to FEEL it all but I promise, that’s the way forward.


PS:  If you need support, please reach out.


Katrina Murphy

Katrina Murphy

Katrina Murphy is a Professional Intuitive Mindset and Confidence Coach in Ontario, Canada, serving clients across Canada and internationally. Katrina helps professionals to change the relationship that they have with themselves so they can reconnect both in their relationships and at work. She’s been featured in various publications and is the creator of the Power-Passion-Purpose Framework.

Pin It on Pinterest